Sunday, September 24, 2006
Message From Gary
My brothers came home and the whole family attended Dan and Natalie’s wedding.
Kristina even caught the bride’s bouquet! It was nice to reunite with relatives we rarely
see and we had a lot of fun. My Dad had a few good days last week but had not been
doing well for the days prior to the wedding. However, it was important to him and he gave it the good effort, persevered and was able to stay throughout the reception.
My folks have been put in an awkward position lately and it is beginning to stress them out so I want to help them out. My Dad does not want to receive phone calls from or have visits with anyone at this point regardless of how close a friend or relative they are. The past two weeks have been the worst of his life and he is extremely weak, in much pain, very susceptible to catching viruses, and just generally feeling lousy and unsociable. My Mom has brought him to the office and his brother’s house a few times when he felt up to it but it is rare that he has the energy for or interest in anything. It must come from him and be on a timetable that works for him regardless of others’
desires to see and speak to him. My mother has been cast in the position of being
a “gatekeeper” and it is becoming very uncomfortable and stressful for her. Believe me, my brothers and I are welcome any time and we stay on top of how both my parents
are doing and that is all they want right now. For the time being, we urge you to honor
my father’s wishes and restrict communication to e-mail at the blog or directly to my Mom at Sheehan@cape.com She prints out and shares all communication with Dad.
Mom also has my brothers and I and a few close friends with whom she communicates
daily so she is getting the support she needs.
The support their many friends and relatives have shown has been incredible and the messages of support and encouragment keep them going. When and if my Dad is able to put together a few strong days and feels a little more sociable, he will contact those he wants to speak to and we will alert you on the blog that he is willing to receive phone calls and visits but until then, please honor his requests. The requests for more at this time is bringing stress to a situation that is otherwise peaceful and healing and works well for Dad at the moment.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
"Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired"
When Mark left the hospital and started radiation the same day, he spiraled into his worst week yet. The final diagnosis was metastatic squamous cell cancer that metastisized to the right lung from the left lymph node. With the extreme pain from his tumor on one side, the lung post op pain on the other, exhaustion from recovering from the lung procedure combined with radiation on top of extreme nausea from medications and radiation, he felt like he had the worst flu of his life and was hit by a Mac truck! He was unable to eat and the thought or even the smell of food repulsed him. It was so bad that when he got to chemo yesterday, he asked the nurse to close a curtain in his line of sight so he wouldn't have to view the cans and boxes of food!
Yesterday was his first day of chemo and they added in something to relieve the nausea and also gave him a script for an anti-nausea medication. By the time he left his first three hour session of chemo, the nausea had subsided and an hour later, he insisted I take him to MacDonalds for a cheeseburger, fries and a coke and he actually ate it!!! I felt like a miracle was happening before my eyes! In addition, the radiation has already eased some of the pain of the tumor and he has a bit more range of motion in his arm. He had been put on a marijuana derivitive pill last weekend to increase his appetite and now with the anti-nausea pill, he'll be sending me out in the middle of the night to get Doritos, pizza and ice cream!! We are both feeling much more optimistic and have a new sense of determination to fight this disease in the past 24 hours.
Our old friend, Katie, came from Maine for a visit last weekend. There are not three old friends who feel more comfortable together and we even had a pajama party and watched "Five Easy Pieces" together. Gary is on a business trip and will return tonight with a million ideas of how to spend the business' money. Kevin will be arriving home from UVM in search of a math tutor tomorrow and Mike arrives, jobless, from L.A. on Friday. He quit his job and probably will become a professional poker player after his friend, Dave Iannotti, won $30,000 in a tournament last weekend!
We are all gathering for Dan Sheehan's wedding to Natalie Hawkins on the Cape. And, with my parents joining Mark's relatives, it promises to be a fantastic family gathering and couldn't come at a better time! Dan is embarking on this venture at 72 years old, Natalie trails him by just a few years, they already have 6 children and are not planning on having anymore! Natalie has three sons and one daughter. Her daughter is her maid of honor and has been in treatment for very advanced breast cancer, so both families have much to be thankful for in coming together this weekend in celebrating life and new beginnings. We wish Dan and Natalie much happiness, good health and days of fun and adventure in the years ahead.
Meanwhile, thanks for the new round of cards, e-mails, and well wishes. They are the happiest part of our day!
Yesterday was his first day of chemo and they added in something to relieve the nausea and also gave him a script for an anti-nausea medication. By the time he left his first three hour session of chemo, the nausea had subsided and an hour later, he insisted I take him to MacDonalds for a cheeseburger, fries and a coke and he actually ate it!!! I felt like a miracle was happening before my eyes! In addition, the radiation has already eased some of the pain of the tumor and he has a bit more range of motion in his arm. He had been put on a marijuana derivitive pill last weekend to increase his appetite and now with the anti-nausea pill, he'll be sending me out in the middle of the night to get Doritos, pizza and ice cream!! We are both feeling much more optimistic and have a new sense of determination to fight this disease in the past 24 hours.
Our old friend, Katie, came from Maine for a visit last weekend. There are not three old friends who feel more comfortable together and we even had a pajama party and watched "Five Easy Pieces" together. Gary is on a business trip and will return tonight with a million ideas of how to spend the business' money. Kevin will be arriving home from UVM in search of a math tutor tomorrow and Mike arrives, jobless, from L.A. on Friday. He quit his job and probably will become a professional poker player after his friend, Dave Iannotti, won $30,000 in a tournament last weekend!
We are all gathering for Dan Sheehan's wedding to Natalie Hawkins on the Cape. And, with my parents joining Mark's relatives, it promises to be a fantastic family gathering and couldn't come at a better time! Dan is embarking on this venture at 72 years old, Natalie trails him by just a few years, they already have 6 children and are not planning on having anymore! Natalie has three sons and one daughter. Her daughter is her maid of honor and has been in treatment for very advanced breast cancer, so both families have much to be thankful for in coming together this weekend in celebrating life and new beginnings. We wish Dan and Natalie much happiness, good health and days of fun and adventure in the years ahead.
Meanwhile, thanks for the new round of cards, e-mails, and well wishes. They are the happiest part of our day!
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Escape from the Looney Bin
Mark did not get released from the hospital on Sunday as planned. He had a temperature and was required to remain one more night. I picked him up early in the afternoon on Monday and drove him straight to Cape Cod Hospital for his first radiation treatment. Friday, he will meet with the oncologist regarding his chemo which is expected to start next week. He will have radiation five days a week for the next five weeks and chemo once a week during that period and possibly longer. All treatments will be done on the Cape. After this radiation regimen, we will return to the surgeon in Boston to decide whether the remainder of the tumor needs to be removed. There will be a PET scan and other tests at that time as well. The doctors have made it clear that we are unable to actually cure the cancer because it has gotten into the blood stream. We are attempting to contain it. So, apparently there will be repeated tests to detect where it may travel and suggested treatments to address issues as they arise.
Now both sides of Mark's body are sore due to the exploratory surgery in his lung on the right side. The tumor on his left side has caused agonizing pain in the past few days and Mark has been bedridden most of the time recuperating from the surgery and getting some much needed sleep. He is on pain medication all the time as well as a variety of post surgery medications and has been running a fever off and on.
He wants me to share his hospital nightmare with all of you so you can appreciate his relief in being home in his own bed. He came out of surgery at Brigham and Womens on Friday night and was put in a room with two women. One of them was highly medicated 60 year old woman who was hallucinating she was on some cruise and proceeded to take all her tubes out and try to escape. The staff finally noticed and eventually resorted to getting a 350 pound aide to sit with her until she passed out and stopped moving... until the following morning when she started to call everyone she had ever met in her life on her cell phone starting at 6 am. So, Mark heard the story over and over in excruciating detail with only a curtain separating them! Minutes after they got her to sleep, they wheeled in "Crazy Eddie" who was a 20 something crack addict who had been stabbed in the heart by his "friend" when he took the last hit of their coke! Crazy Eddie proceeded to scream and swear in pain as he demanded more drugs and eventually passed out after keeping Mark awake the entire night!
Throughout the weekend, every time the noise level dimmed, the nurses would come in and poke Mark with something or play with his tubes, take his B.P. or deliver a tray of unwanted food. He never slept more than a few hours from Friday evening until Monday night and was so relieved to return to his own bed in his nice quiet Cape Cod home that the only time he will leave is when he gets radiation treatments!
Mark does have much to look forward to though. This weekend, our friend of 30 years, Katie, will drive down from Maine for an overnight visit. Then, Mike is returning to the Cape September 22 for a week and Kevin will drive back from UVM so the entire family can attend Mark's oldest brother's wedding on September 23. Mark's brothers and their families will be there along with my parents so it will truly be a family reunion for everyone and we are all looking forward to it.
Tomorrow we pass papers in selling Barbara the uniform division of the business so that is one less responsibility we will have. In fact, with Gary's oversight and the incredible dedication of our hard working employees, the business has not caused us a moment of concern and we couldn't be more grateful to our entire staff for that.
As always we are enjoying the messages left at the blog, the cards Mark has received, the countless prayers you have said on Mark's behalf, and the many offers of help we have received. The blog has enabled us to reconnect with many and has meant a lot to us. Some people don't feel comfortable leaving messages on the blog. If you prefer to e-mail me directly, please do so at sheehan@cape.com. I am not a big fan of phone calls and Mark is sleeping most of the time so we do prefer e-mails.
Fortunately, this is the first time in my life that I don't have incredible demands on my time so I am free to take care of Mark full time and drive him to his appointments. My erratic driving is even distracting him from the cancer as he often feels that he is on the verge of a heart attack! I guess it was fate that this terrible disease arrived at a time we could fight it without other stresses and responsibilities distracting us. However, if the time comes that we need help, we know that there are countless people that we can count on. We know that your offers are heartfelt and you truly want to pitch in and we will take a "rain check" until the need arises.
As always, thanks for your concern. We never cease to be impressed with the number of "hits" the blog has received! With Love and appreciation, Nancy
Now both sides of Mark's body are sore due to the exploratory surgery in his lung on the right side. The tumor on his left side has caused agonizing pain in the past few days and Mark has been bedridden most of the time recuperating from the surgery and getting some much needed sleep. He is on pain medication all the time as well as a variety of post surgery medications and has been running a fever off and on.
He wants me to share his hospital nightmare with all of you so you can appreciate his relief in being home in his own bed. He came out of surgery at Brigham and Womens on Friday night and was put in a room with two women. One of them was highly medicated 60 year old woman who was hallucinating she was on some cruise and proceeded to take all her tubes out and try to escape. The staff finally noticed and eventually resorted to getting a 350 pound aide to sit with her until she passed out and stopped moving... until the following morning when she started to call everyone she had ever met in her life on her cell phone starting at 6 am. So, Mark heard the story over and over in excruciating detail with only a curtain separating them! Minutes after they got her to sleep, they wheeled in "Crazy Eddie" who was a 20 something crack addict who had been stabbed in the heart by his "friend" when he took the last hit of their coke! Crazy Eddie proceeded to scream and swear in pain as he demanded more drugs and eventually passed out after keeping Mark awake the entire night!
Throughout the weekend, every time the noise level dimmed, the nurses would come in and poke Mark with something or play with his tubes, take his B.P. or deliver a tray of unwanted food. He never slept more than a few hours from Friday evening until Monday night and was so relieved to return to his own bed in his nice quiet Cape Cod home that the only time he will leave is when he gets radiation treatments!
Mark does have much to look forward to though. This weekend, our friend of 30 years, Katie, will drive down from Maine for an overnight visit. Then, Mike is returning to the Cape September 22 for a week and Kevin will drive back from UVM so the entire family can attend Mark's oldest brother's wedding on September 23. Mark's brothers and their families will be there along with my parents so it will truly be a family reunion for everyone and we are all looking forward to it.
Tomorrow we pass papers in selling Barbara the uniform division of the business so that is one less responsibility we will have. In fact, with Gary's oversight and the incredible dedication of our hard working employees, the business has not caused us a moment of concern and we couldn't be more grateful to our entire staff for that.
As always we are enjoying the messages left at the blog, the cards Mark has received, the countless prayers you have said on Mark's behalf, and the many offers of help we have received. The blog has enabled us to reconnect with many and has meant a lot to us. Some people don't feel comfortable leaving messages on the blog. If you prefer to e-mail me directly, please do so at sheehan@cape.com. I am not a big fan of phone calls and Mark is sleeping most of the time so we do prefer e-mails.
Fortunately, this is the first time in my life that I don't have incredible demands on my time so I am free to take care of Mark full time and drive him to his appointments. My erratic driving is even distracting him from the cancer as he often feels that he is on the verge of a heart attack! I guess it was fate that this terrible disease arrived at a time we could fight it without other stresses and responsibilities distracting us. However, if the time comes that we need help, we know that there are countless people that we can count on. We know that your offers are heartfelt and you truly want to pitch in and we will take a "rain check" until the need arises.
As always, thanks for your concern. We never cease to be impressed with the number of "hits" the blog has received! With Love and appreciation, Nancy
Saturday, September 09, 2006
The Diagnostic Phase Ends
After three months of doctors visits, tests that triggered ever more questions and doctors being baffled, we have finally completed the diagnostic stage with some dismal news. The skin cancer that was removed in February of 05 left a speck of squamous cell cancer remaining which was the cause of the ever growing tumor. Now, the cancer has escaped into his blood stream and traveled to Mark's right lung. This indicates an advanced and dangerous progression of cancer which will be treated on the Cape starting in a week to ten days with both chemo and radiation. The previous consideration of an arm amputation is no longer an option.
Mark and I arrived in Boston on Wednesday, September 6 and met with doctors and had two full frustrating days of tests, repeat scans, pre op appointments while getting lost in the maze of departments at Dana Farber/Brigham & Womens and even losing my change purse with lots of money in it.
Today, Friday, September 8, we arrived for several very invasive procedures performed by our thoracic surgeon. This evening, the doctor called to give the results. The fact that the cancer has traveled to Mark's right lung is not promising news at all. Mark was finally moved from the recovery room to his room at Brighams at about 10 pm. He has countless tubes attached to his entire body and his lung- which had been collapsed to do one of the procedures
was causing enormous pain and he is receiving pain killers intravenously. It is expected that he will be in the hospital until Sunday then return home for further recuperation prior to starting treatments in the next ten days or so.
I had intended to return to the Cape tonight but instead checked into a hotel around the corner from Mark's room.
As always, we are extremely grateful for all your well wishes, prayers and concern. We had a fantastic anniversary weekend with Kevin and his girlfriend, Katie, who flew in from CA to join us and Gary and Kristina, the Terrys and Iannottis and some of Gary's fun college friends.
Thanks so much to all who recognized our 30 tumultuous years together!!!
I am writing from the hotel lobby and will write more details when I return home early in the week. Please know that I do not receive e-mail addresses of those who write to the blog so I often can not respond to nice notes and comments but they are always appreciated.
Until next week, thanks for the many favors, cards, offers and kindnesses you've shown.
Love, Nancy
Mark and I arrived in Boston on Wednesday, September 6 and met with doctors and had two full frustrating days of tests, repeat scans, pre op appointments while getting lost in the maze of departments at Dana Farber/Brigham & Womens and even losing my change purse with lots of money in it.
Today, Friday, September 8, we arrived for several very invasive procedures performed by our thoracic surgeon. This evening, the doctor called to give the results. The fact that the cancer has traveled to Mark's right lung is not promising news at all. Mark was finally moved from the recovery room to his room at Brighams at about 10 pm. He has countless tubes attached to his entire body and his lung- which had been collapsed to do one of the procedures
was causing enormous pain and he is receiving pain killers intravenously. It is expected that he will be in the hospital until Sunday then return home for further recuperation prior to starting treatments in the next ten days or so.
I had intended to return to the Cape tonight but instead checked into a hotel around the corner from Mark's room.
As always, we are extremely grateful for all your well wishes, prayers and concern. We had a fantastic anniversary weekend with Kevin and his girlfriend, Katie, who flew in from CA to join us and Gary and Kristina, the Terrys and Iannottis and some of Gary's fun college friends.
Thanks so much to all who recognized our 30 tumultuous years together!!!
I am writing from the hotel lobby and will write more details when I return home early in the week. Please know that I do not receive e-mail addresses of those who write to the blog so I often can not respond to nice notes and comments but they are always appreciated.
Until next week, thanks for the many favors, cards, offers and kindnesses you've shown.
Love, Nancy
