Monday, April 26, 2010

 

Celebration of Life and Golf Tournament

Mark your calendars now for Monday, October 18 when we will hold a golf tournament at New Seabury to benefit the "Cape Medical Supply Mark Sheehan Memorial Foundation." You may get further information by going to the Cape Medical Supply website (www.capemedical.com) click on "foundation" then "golf."
Saturday, April 10 was a beautiful spring day on Cape Cod and the views from Anthony's Cummaquid Inn were breathtaking. Mark's favorite songs played on the speaker throughout the day. Mark's wheelbarrow, gardening gloves and a tree we later planted in our backyard were on display as people entered. Dozens of framed pictures were on tables and 35 years of picture collages were lining the route to the family receiving condolence calls from 11-2. Every 15 minutes a gong sounded to silence the mourners and a speaker or musician performed at the microphone. Friend, John Feeney, spoke eloquently. Childhood friend, Tom Bruce read a letter depicting playful adventures. Dan Sheehan, the oldest of the Sheehan brothers, shared the sadness of losing the family's youngest member. Karen Estrella penned a letter from Cape Medical's trade association NEMED depicting Mark as "quite a character" and expressed appreciation for his outspoken honesty and passion for the industry along with her gratitude that Mark left his living legacies,Gary and Mike who have been a great asset to the organization. Gary's friend, Percy Stith, gave a philosophical speech sharing his impressions of Gary's father. Bob Terry, who flew home from Sanibel with Pam just for the occasion, spoke about the strong ties and adventures the Iannotti/Terry/Sheehan familes experienced over 20 years of family friendships. Dean Coe's skit was hilarious. His wife had passed away last summer and he pretended he received a phone call from her saying that Mark had just arrived in heaven, he was a week late because he had to spend a week in hell and was released in exchange for 250 wheelchairs.
There were four moving musical performances intersperced throughout the day as well. My cousin's husband, Rick Dirienzo, played guitar and sang Mark's favorite song, Tom Rush's "I've Got the Urge for Going." Employee, Paul Morrisey, worked at Cape Medical Supply before he even had children. His daughter,now a senior in high school, has a beautiful voice which was evident when she sang "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." Melissa Roberts Weidman is in my writing group, writes for Hospice and Palliative Care of Cape Cod and has a band, Flipside and she shared an incredible acappella rendition of "Blowing In the Wind." And, Ann Pratt, who was Mark's Hospice nurse and a long time friend, gave a short speech quoting a meaningful e-mail I sent her as she introduced her husband, Neal, playing a number from the 20's on his saxaphone.
People trickled in between 11 and 12 but between 12 and 2 the line of people waiting to extend their condolences to our family wound around the restaurant backing up to the front door. We had to hurriedly exchange a few words with those still waiting at 2:30 so we could cut it short and get the "Celebration of Life"
ceremony started a few minutes late. By then, 275 people had come to pay their respects.
A harpist played "The Four Seasons" as the "Celebration of Life" got underway and a soloist sang Mark's mother's favorite Irish song, "Danny Boy." I spoke briefly about what a fantastic father Mark had been to our three sons then Mike gave a very powerful speech to an audience which dissolved into tears listening to his memories, gratitude and heartfelt pride in his father. He claimed that his father was a straight shooter and honest man who taught him how to stand up for what he believes is right. He said he learned what courage is by watching his father fight cancer and was inspired by his determination. The soloist then Sang, "The Wind Beneath My Wings."
Kevin read a letter he had written prior to Mark's passing which I had read to Mark the week before he died. Tears flowed as he haltingly stated that he, Gary and Mike were the three luckiest guys in the world to have had a Dad like Mark. They knew they always came first and regardless of what Mark was doing, he was always available when they called him at Cape Medical Supply. It was such an emotional experience for him to read that he kept having to stop. When he neared the end, he assured the audience that he was almost done! Then he went on to say that as a witness to what Mark had been through, no mountain seems too high to climb and no challenge appears too difficult to tackle.
Gary then spoke about Mark in the various roles he played. He claimed that he realized his father's role as grandfather would be limited, so it was especially meaningful to see him with Sean. He believes that watching his father hold Sean in his arms was to better understand what he must have been like as a young father and becoming a father himself made him better understand the power of Mark's love and the impact he had on Gary throughout his life. 15 month old Sean arrived with his other grandmother for the "Celebration of Life" and his little voice could be heard throughout the speeches. Gary wound up the tribute by inviting everyone to stay for H'ors d'oeuvres and drinks and asked them all to join in singing "When Irish Eyes Are Smiling." The words to the song were printed on the back of the program each person received when they arrived.
Since the day of remembrance, we have received many accolades about the personalization injected throughout the day. Many thought it was the most meaningful tribute they had ever witnessed. I have never been so proud of my family and I can assure you that it was exactly what Mark wanted and he would have been so humbled by every word spoken and thoroughly enjoyed the humor and various characterizations of what made him unique and special.
If anyone would like a copy of the program we distributed, please request one by e-mailing me at Sheehan@cape.com and include your mailing address. It has a picture of Mark and Sean, Mark's boat, Seas The Day, and information about donations to the foundation we formed in Mark's honor to support the non-profit community on Cape Cod with special focus on end of life and cancer support services.
I've been working on a book about our family's experiences since Mark's diagnosis in 2006. I share stories about our confusion navigating the medical system, some lessons we learned, my commitment to care giving, the sadness of the final months, the humor that defines our family, as well as adventures and joy our family shared throughout the past four years. I will use the blog to announce its availability which will probably be at the beginning of 2011.
We will also use the blog to announce fundraisers for the foundation. If you would like to make a donation in Mark's memory, it can be sent to "The Cape Medical Supply Mark Sheehan Memorial Foundation" C/O The Cape Cod Foundation, 259 Willow Street, Yarmouth Port, MA 02675.
Meanwhile, remember the golf tournament October 18 at New Seabury and never forget the abundance of appreciation the Sheehan family has for every kindness you bestowed on us, all the cards you sent and the understanding and support you offered our family throughout our four year journey.
With Sincere Gratitude,
Nancy M. Sheehan

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