Tuesday, August 28, 2007
The Depths of Depression
The past few weeks have been the most difficult emotionally since Mark first was diagnosed a year ago. He goes to radiation daily, is totally exhausted, has to stay inside out of the sun because of the photodynamic therapy and spiraled into being despondent and pessismistic.
It's been a difficult and sad period for both of us. Counseling with a psychologist had already been arranged for this coming Friday but we still dragged into Dr. Avilies' office today seeking more specifics on a prognosis, honest answers about whether there will come a time he can stop treatment after treatment and have some quality of life and questioning whether it was all worth it.
As always, Dr. Aviles was honest and compassionate and we left his office feeling so much better.
Because the cancer is currently just in the right lung as far as we know, and has not spread to other organs, it is worthwhile to continue treatments. In a month, the tests will reveal the impact of the radiation and we will wait until after that to decide whether to proceed with chemo because he just doesn't think Mark can withstand chemo at the moment in addition to the radiation which is scheduled to end mid-Sept...probably right about the time that Gary's starts up. Also, Dr. Aviles is arranging for Mark to have a PIC line put in and he'll begin intravenous feedings at home immediately. His weight has increased a few pounds but eating is terribly difficult and he has to force himself and at the current stage of the radiation, the eating is becoming more difficult because his throat is getting burnt, etc. Therefore, he will get at least some of his nutritional needs intravenously which relieves me and the inevitable clashes we have over food. It is like living with an anorexic...sometimes, if I walk out of the room, he even sneaks and feeds the dog what's on his plate! Dr. Aviles also started Mark on a new antidepressant which should help with providing some more optimism and boosting his fortitude to continue to fight. So, as always, we were much more optimistic leaving Dr. Aviles than when we arrived. Gary says Dr. Aviles should be our marriage counselor!!
Today was Barbara's 30th birthday so after a long day of appointments Mike and Steph joined us with Barbara at our house and we celebrated her big day with a football ice cream cake and our usual round of laughs interspersed with conversation!
We have had more home cooked meals in the past few weeks than we have had since the kids were small. Thanks so much to our staff who provided a huge carton of absolutely delicious frozen homemade meals along with countless gift certificates and our thoughtful neighbors in our tiny neighborhood who have cooked us about 6 fantastic "soup to nuts" meals in the past few weeks too. They ought to start a Punkhorn Point Restaurant! Now that Mark's appetite has lessened and he has to eat softer foods, the meals will no longer be necessary. Thanks also for the reams of cards and e-mail notes. Mark reads them all although he never responds so don't think your words have gone unappreciated. Our blog is now 13 months old and has had 10,000 hits by people who care how Mark is doing so that in itself is humbling and has really touched us.
We never thought the day would come in which we would be going to radiation and passing Gary and Kristina as they were leaving an appointment with the radiation doctor and then we would meet them later in the same day as they were finishing up with the oncologist as we were arriving for Mark's appointment. But, we have survived a lot as a family in the past year and maintained our sense of humor through it all. Gary's situation is looking really promising. He had a fantastic weekend in MV with Kristina. It was our birthday gift back in June which he finally got to enjoy in the free month between chemo and radiation. Kevin found a nice apartment in Incline Village and started college this week at Sierra Nevada. And, Mike and Steph are looking at houses in the best buyer's market there has ever been! Furthermore, the business is thriving under Gary's leadership so we are taking the staff to see the Edwards Twins show on September 8. I've seen it three times and it is incredible entertainment. Then Friday night, Mark and I are going to a comedy show with our friends, The Terrys, to bring some humor to ending the summer which really wasn't much of a summer for Mark who spent it in the dark on Cape Cod. I'll update the blog again around mid-September when we should have some more news. Thanks for the many ways you have shown support, lifted our spirits, and filled our tummies.
It's been a difficult and sad period for both of us. Counseling with a psychologist had already been arranged for this coming Friday but we still dragged into Dr. Avilies' office today seeking more specifics on a prognosis, honest answers about whether there will come a time he can stop treatment after treatment and have some quality of life and questioning whether it was all worth it.
As always, Dr. Aviles was honest and compassionate and we left his office feeling so much better.
Because the cancer is currently just in the right lung as far as we know, and has not spread to other organs, it is worthwhile to continue treatments. In a month, the tests will reveal the impact of the radiation and we will wait until after that to decide whether to proceed with chemo because he just doesn't think Mark can withstand chemo at the moment in addition to the radiation which is scheduled to end mid-Sept...probably right about the time that Gary's starts up. Also, Dr. Aviles is arranging for Mark to have a PIC line put in and he'll begin intravenous feedings at home immediately. His weight has increased a few pounds but eating is terribly difficult and he has to force himself and at the current stage of the radiation, the eating is becoming more difficult because his throat is getting burnt, etc. Therefore, he will get at least some of his nutritional needs intravenously which relieves me and the inevitable clashes we have over food. It is like living with an anorexic...sometimes, if I walk out of the room, he even sneaks and feeds the dog what's on his plate! Dr. Aviles also started Mark on a new antidepressant which should help with providing some more optimism and boosting his fortitude to continue to fight. So, as always, we were much more optimistic leaving Dr. Aviles than when we arrived. Gary says Dr. Aviles should be our marriage counselor!!
Today was Barbara's 30th birthday so after a long day of appointments Mike and Steph joined us with Barbara at our house and we celebrated her big day with a football ice cream cake and our usual round of laughs interspersed with conversation!
We have had more home cooked meals in the past few weeks than we have had since the kids were small. Thanks so much to our staff who provided a huge carton of absolutely delicious frozen homemade meals along with countless gift certificates and our thoughtful neighbors in our tiny neighborhood who have cooked us about 6 fantastic "soup to nuts" meals in the past few weeks too. They ought to start a Punkhorn Point Restaurant! Now that Mark's appetite has lessened and he has to eat softer foods, the meals will no longer be necessary. Thanks also for the reams of cards and e-mail notes. Mark reads them all although he never responds so don't think your words have gone unappreciated. Our blog is now 13 months old and has had 10,000 hits by people who care how Mark is doing so that in itself is humbling and has really touched us.
We never thought the day would come in which we would be going to radiation and passing Gary and Kristina as they were leaving an appointment with the radiation doctor and then we would meet them later in the same day as they were finishing up with the oncologist as we were arriving for Mark's appointment. But, we have survived a lot as a family in the past year and maintained our sense of humor through it all. Gary's situation is looking really promising. He had a fantastic weekend in MV with Kristina. It was our birthday gift back in June which he finally got to enjoy in the free month between chemo and radiation. Kevin found a nice apartment in Incline Village and started college this week at Sierra Nevada. And, Mike and Steph are looking at houses in the best buyer's market there has ever been! Furthermore, the business is thriving under Gary's leadership so we are taking the staff to see the Edwards Twins show on September 8. I've seen it three times and it is incredible entertainment. Then Friday night, Mark and I are going to a comedy show with our friends, The Terrys, to bring some humor to ending the summer which really wasn't much of a summer for Mark who spent it in the dark on Cape Cod. I'll update the blog again around mid-September when we should have some more news. Thanks for the many ways you have shown support, lifted our spirits, and filled our tummies.
# posted by The Sheehan Family @ 1:46 AM 
